Dealing With Frustration on the Course (Without Throwing Your Clubs 🤦)
- Yolandi Botes
- Jul 14
- 11 min read
Golf: the sport we love to hate. There’s a reason it’s often called “a good walk spoiled”. One moment you’re gliding down the fairway in the sunshine, and the next you’ve snap-hooked a drive into the trees and your blood pressure spikes. Every South African golfer, from the weekend hacker at the local muni to the scratch regular at Glendower, knows that boiling feeling when a round starts going south. The question is, how do you deal with it without tossing your 7-iron into the nearest dam or scaring the impala off the course?
Why Golf Can Drive You Mad (You’re Not Alone)
A golfer wrestling with his club, we’ve all felt like this after a duffed shot. First, understand that frustration is completely normal in golf. This game has a unique way of testing our patience and ego. You pipe one down the middle on 10, then chili-dip a chip on 11 and suddenly you’re fuming. In fact, if all the sound on a typical course fell silent, you’d likely hear a chorus of colorful language after missed shots, proof that everybody feels the struggle. Golf demands precision, yet even the pros hit shockers.
Ever heard of Frustrated Golfer Syndrome?
Sports psychologists use terms like that to describe how hard we take our mistakes on the course. We hit a bad shot and it’s never just “oops, bad swing.” Instead, we treat it like a moral failing (“I suck at this game!”) and our self-esteem plummets. The truth is, golf taps into our perfectionism, we imagine the perfect shot, and when reality doesn’t match, we lose it. Knowing this doesn’t instantly fix your temper, but it helps to remember that the frustration you feel is something all golfers experience at some point. You’re not the only one silently raging after a topped ball, so don’t beat yourself up for getting upset.
Even the Pros Get Angry – But They Handle It Differently
If you’ve ever helicoptered a club into the bushes (hopefully you haven’t!), take heart: even tour pros have had meltdown moments. South African golfer Hennie Otto famously lost his cool at the 2005 Nashua Masters, he missed a par putt and then needed five more putts to finish the hole, carding a painful 10. He was so livid two weeks later that he snapped all of his clubs after a bad round! We definitely don’t recommend that (unless you’ve got a sponsor and a spare set handy). The silver lining? Otto came back with a new set of clubs and fired a course record 65 in the SA Open. The lesson: a moment of anger doesn’t define you, it’s how you regroup that counts.
South Africa’s golf legends are actually known for their steadiness. Think of Gary Player or Ernie Els, unflappable, even-tempered. Retief Goosen’s nickname is “The Iceman” because nothing seems to faze him. Of course, even gentle giants have their moments (yes, Mr. Els has six-putted a green, it happens). But top players tend to follow a rule: blow up, then shake it off. A pro might mutter a quick swear, sling the club back in the bag, and by the time they reach the next tee, it’s forgotten. In contrast, us amateurs will stew over that shanked 8-iron for five holes if we’re not careful. Remember, the pros train for mental resilience, and we can learn from them.
It’s also worth noting that losing your temper can have real consequences. Besides ruining your scorecard, anger can hurt your reputation and even your gear (just ask Hennie’s broken clubs). As a funny old quote (attributed to notorious hot-head Tommy Bolt) goes: “If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up”.
In other words, anger makes us do stupid things, so try not to literally throw away your equipment or energy. Plus, if you’re playing at certain South African courses, you definitely don’t want to toss a club into the water, some hazards might bite back (the 13th at Sun City’s Lost City course literally has live crocodiles in the water!). Temper tantrums aren’t worth a trip into the reptile pit.
Understanding the Root of Your Frustration (Adjust Your Expectations)
Why do we get so frustrated by a bad round? A lot of it comes down to expectations. We expect a lot of ourselves on the course, sometimes too much. Psychologists note that many golfers tie their self-worth to their performance; when shots go wrong, they feel helpless and angry because it’s like a personal failure. One key to dealing with frustration is perspective.
Are you a 15-handicap expecting to play like a tour champion? Reality check: even scratch golfers hit awful shots; a 15-handicapper will hit plenty of them in any given round. In fact, if you usually shoot in the high 80s, it’s statistically normal that you’ll chunk, top, or shank a handful of shots each time out. As one psychologist dryly notes, a 15-handicap is going to hit 17–18 strokes over par on average, meaning mistakes are part of your game, not some freak injustice.
So when a bad shot happens, remind yourself: It’s normal. It’s expected. The pros hit into the trees and then move on without drama. You can too. Instead of reacting like the golf gods have cursed you, try a mental reality-check: “Okay, there’s my one bad drive for the day, I’ve got it out of the way.” This kind of self-talk can diffuse the feeling that you “shouldn’t” mess up. Golf is hard, folks! Cut yourself some slack.
Another facet is separating your self-esteem from the result. Missing a 4-foot putt doesn’t mean you’re a terrible golfer, let alone a terrible person. It simply means you missed a 4-foot putt. Period. Don’t make it bigger than it is. One psychologist quipped that many golfers need to “unhook” their golf performance from their identity, you’re allowed to enjoy the game without needing to master it. Keep in mind why you play: for fun, for challenge, for camaraderie. When you start seeing a round not as an exam of your worth but as a day out with mates, it’s easier to laugh off the bad shots.
Try this: Next time you feel frustration building, literally laugh at yourself (or at the situation). It might feel unnatural, but it works. One golfer wrote that she forces herself to smile after every bad shot, the worse the shot, the bigger the smilegolfgal-blog.com. It sounds silly, but by outwardly grinning or chuckling at your flub, you signal to your brain that it’s okay. You’re still alive, still playing golf in the gorgeous outdoors, and it’s not the end of the world. By lightening up, you rob the bad shot of its power over you.
Practical Strategies to Keep Your Cool on the Course
At this point you might think, “Alright, I get it, be positive, be realistic, but what do I do in the moment when I’m ready to explode?” Here are some field-tested strategies (used by pros and backed by sports psychologists) that you can try the next time golf rage strikes:
Take a Breather (Literally) – When that wave of anger hits, pause and take a deep breath, maybe two or three slow ones. This simple act can lower your heart rate and center you. Many coaches teach breathing techniques as the first line of defense against frustration. As you exhale, feel the tension go with it. You can even adopt a routine: step away from your ball, fix your gaze on something peaceful (like the clouds over Table Mountain or the trees swaying at Royal J&K), and breathe. This 10-second reset prevents an angry swing on the next shot. By the time you address the ball again, you’re a bit calmer and clearer.
Use the “2-Second Rule” – This trick comes from famed putting guru Dave Stockton and it’s gold for anger management. Give yourself no more than two seconds to be mad about a shot, curse under your breath, clench your fist, whatever, but when those two seconds are up, stop. Force yourself to immediately shift focus to something you can control, like your next shot or your pre-shot routine.
Stockton would hit a bad shot, mutter something like “dang it” for a brief moment, then instantly start thinking about how to recover. It takes discipline, but try it: next time you duff one, allow a very short vent (literally count “one…two…”), then deep breath and move on. Treat it like a light switch: frustration off. The two-second rule stops a mistake from snowballing into a full-round funk.
Practice a Post-Shot Routine – We all know about pre-shot routines, but a post-shot routine is just as important for handling emotions. This idea, taught by coaches like Pia Nilsson and Lynn Marriott (of Vision54 fame), is about creating a consistent response after every shot, good or badgolfgal-blog.com. For example, you might decide that after each shot you will: exhale, straighten your posture, put your club back in the bag calmly, and walk to the next shot with head held high.
One amateur golfer swears by a routine of throwing her shoulders back and smiling immediately after a terrible shot, by the time she reaches her ball, she’s already let the negativity go. This “fake it till you make it” approach is surprisingly effective. By acting calm, confident, and unfazed – even if you’re fuming inside, you eventually start feeling that way for real. Essentially, don’t give the bad shot any outward drama. Pretend you’re on TV trying to look like Ernie or Tiger: no tantrums, no slumped shoulders. It creates a kind of emotional muscle memory that keeps you composed.
Positive (or at Least Constructive) Self-Talk – Pay attention to the voice in your head after a bad shot. If it’s screaming “You idiot! You always screw up!”, that’s like pouring petrol on the fire. Instead, try to be your own caddie or coach. Say something encouraging or analytical: “Shake it off, you can still make a bogey and move on.” Or “Okay, that swing got quick; next time, smooth tempo.” Keep it neutral and forward-looking.
Some players even use humor in self-talk: pull a Gary Player and quip, “Well, the more I practice that shot, the luckier I’ll get next time”. If you can smile at your own misfortune, it loses its sting. Remember, as sports psychology experts often remind us, sulking won’t get you anything, it only distracts you. Tell the negative committee in your head to sit down and let a problem-solving, positive voice take over.
Focus on This Shot, Not the Last – Golf legend Ben Hogan had a famous saying: “The most important shot in golf is your next one.” It’s gospel truth. You can’t replay the last swing – it’s gone, history. What you can do is give full attention to the shot in front of you. Next time you’re stewing on a mistake, remind yourself of Hogan’s wisdom. Narrow your world to the present shot: assess your lie, pick a target, make a plan.
Channel that frustration into determination to execute this one shot as best you can. By occupying your mind with the next task, you leave no room for anger about the past. It’s the ultimate reset button. Many pros have short memories for exactly this reason – a sort of golfing amnesia that keeps them focused on what they can still achieve, not what’s already on the card.
Adjust Your Goals (Game Within the Game) – When a round is going off the rails, our initial score goal might be out the window. That’s when you should reframe your objectives to stay motivated and composed. For example, instead of “I want to break 90 today” (which is tough if you’ve just taken a triple-bogey), make a smaller goal: “I want to hit X fairways on the back nine,” or “No three-putts for the rest of the round.”
By setting mini-goals, you shift from feeling like a failure to having something positive to strive for. One productive goal can simply be staying composed itself: challenge yourself with, “Let’s see if I can play the last 5 holes with a smile, no matter what happens.” This gives you back a sense of control. It turns the round into a learning experience rather than a trainwreck.
As you meet these mini-goals, your mood will lift and your play often follows. Remember, every round, even the blow-ups, make for good stories at the 19th hole, especially if you handle them with grace.
Use Your Playing Partners and Environment – Don’t underestimate the power of your golf buddies and the beautiful courses we play. Instead of silently boiling, engage with your group – crack a joke about your bad shot (as long as you’re not mid-tantrum). For instance, after duffing a tee shot that barely reaches the ladies’ tee, you might grin and say, “I just wanted to get a closer look at the wildlife on this hole.
” Often, your friends will laugh and the tension will dissolve. Golf in South Africa can also offer natural therapy: take a second to appreciate your surroundings. As one mental coach suggests, pause and appreciate the scenery or the fact that you’re out here – the smell of cut grass, the view of the ocean or veld – it shifts your focus from frustration to gratitude.
A moment of gratitude (“How lucky am I to be playing here today?”) can flip your mindset from anger to enjoyment. The beauty of our courses, whether it’s the wild bushveld at Skukuza or the epic mountain backdrops at Leopard Creek, is part of why we love this game. Soak it in. It’s hard to stay angry when you’re thinking about how gorgeous the day is or how fun it is to spend time with friends.
Turning Frustration into Fuel (and Enjoyment)
In the end, managing anger on the course isn’t about never getting frustrated, it’s about not letting frustration run the show. You will hit bad shots; you will have bad rounds. But you also have a choice: you can slam clubs and sulk, or you can use the tips above to ride the wave and maybe even have a laugh at your own expense.
Golf is as much a mental battle as a physical one, and learning to stay cool is a skill you can practice just like your swing. Next time you feel a red mist coming on after a duck-hook or missed three-footer, remember: you’re in control of your reaction. Take that breath. Do your two-second mini-tantrum and let it go.
Remind yourself it’s just a game, a challenging game that no one ever truly masters. Replace the club slam with a determined focus on what comes next. Some days, you’ll manage this better than others, and that’s okay. By dealing with frustration in a healthier way, you’ll find you not only play better (or at least stop the score from imploding), but you’ll enjoy the game more.
You might even start wearing that triple-bogey as a badge of honor in the clubhouse, turning it into an anecdote rather than a wound to lick. As the saying goes, golf is played on a five-inch course, the space between your ears. Conquer that, and you’ve really won, no matter what the scorecard says.
Landbou Gholfklub
Nestled in the heart of Potchefstroom, Landbou Golf Club is a cherished local destination that’s been welcoming golfers since its founding in 1988 . The club boasts a beautifully maintained nine-hole parkland course, ideal for both keen amateurs and seasoned players seeking a relaxed round in a scenic setting.
Beyond the course, Landbou offers a warm and lively clubhouse atmosphere, complete with a bar, darts, and a restaurant, making it a popular place to unwind after a round . Its braai facilities are particularly beloved, drawing members together over hearty South African-style barbecues.
Community spirit is at the club’s core: regular tournaments like the Landbou Open and Juniors bring golfers together, while the venue also caters to corporate events, functions, and casual social gatherings .
Add in the friendly staff and a welcoming vibe, and Landbou stands out as Potchefstroom’s go-to “hidden gem” for those who love good golf, good food, and great company. If you're looking for a well-rounded golfing experience in Potchefstroom, where every round feels like a friendly homecoming, Landbou Golf Club delivers exactly that.
The next time you’re about to throw your clubs (or throw a fit), try these strategies and see what happens. You’ll likely walk off 18 with your gear intact, your pride only mildly bruised, and maybe even a smile on your face. And if all else fails, remember there’s a cold drink and a warm boerie roll waiting for you at the 19th hole. Keep it in perspective, keep it fun, and happy golfing!
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